[n.e.u.r.o.t.i.c. m.u.s.i.n.g.s.]
fourteen crosstown | nine | 2018 to who knows?

update | 6.7.2018

meh, i'm still doing websites? i don't know why but i guess i am. sometimes i feel there is nothing much else to do. with laser tag closed down, i had been mostly on roleplaying - which is hardly working (see first blog post) - and dave and buster's. i guess i needed to vent more often than anything, and yet reading on things have helped me get away from the toxic stuff that has been going on - whether in roleplaying or in reality - both have the most equal of toxicity, except on certain things - you'll have to read my first post to see. but yeah, i guess that means i'm back? beats me.
[fourteen crosstown]

thursday, june 7, 2018
i had ventured on working on this site for a long time now, but i had so much crap in my mind that i had procrastinated - for a long time. mainly from my attempts in roleplaying, to working 5-6 days a week, to of course, my new happy place - dave and buster's. coming from a 128,000+ ticket session, i was in a happy mood. something came up. now i'm finally working on it, and i needed to vent out on something. it's 4 am in the morning, i have to go to work tomorrow (thank goddess i work afternoons) and i am doing this... why... but after certain things happened since memorial day, now i can finally get it out.

it's been fourteen months - ironically, fourteen - since i left a specific roleplaying place, and although i felt like i was in the wrong, a lot of things have came up since then. for one, there was nothing positive that came from anyone of my character, but they complimented their own. it made me think like there was a big clique going on. they were too much holier-than-thou supposed 'storytellers'. second, this thing about 'judging people'. wait a fucking second... are you paying me to do this? this is a double edged sword. i realize i'm in their room, but judging people on characters? seriously? get the fuck out of dodge. third, there is a hypocrisy about a rule saying that 'you only figure out characters from interaction'. now if this isn't cross-server rp, it brings up two questions: how the hell did one person know about my character 'not being able to connect with a team' when my character has never played anything in that specific server to get such analyzation, and i have never seen you before, how the hell did you know about certain things unless you're a specific person who i think you really are? i'm really beginning to get a very big suspicion of a certain person, but whatever. done is done, i don't want to see that person - or its clique - anymore. a certain person of that clique ended up in a certain other area, and i just pulled away to make sure i don't get any more negative vibes or memories from 2017.

all of this stemmed from one thing about me and roleplaying - short and simple, in roleplaying, i like blasting things with a character who could fire lasers from his very being. it should have been something simple to do that and i would have had fun. the problem is that i have been through way too many loopholes in trying to get that happen. ever since matthew schneider died, it has been all drama and bullshit since. i'm going on 40. i have a job and then some. it should not take years to have fun in something. it should not even be hours. i don't have time like those dragon ball z episodes where it takes years for one action. no. i did enough sleepless nights in such attempts. i had 2-3 hour sleep nights, and even skipped school just to get a roleplaying session in a way to satisfy me. i cannot do it anymore.

people process things differently. as sensitive as i am, i will at least show that i am honest in how i feel and what i want to do. a lot of others carry under a mask. that's not and will not be me. i've gotten tired. i swear, i've always wonder that - since the last laser quest in madison heights closed in september 2014 - if it wasn't for dave and buster's if there was ever going to be anything interesting in the detroit area - knowing for me that is a needle in a haystack, save the void that is seven mile road.
.site links.
- [ crosstown himself ]
- [ pleiadian: the radiance ]
- [ thrillseeker: the carnivals ]

aaron j. wilburn, jr, page creator
a.k.a. fourteen crosstown